:(

Murphy struck. And I didn't quite achieve the state of nothingness I wanted. And I feel a little like Agnes right now...

Its been more than half a year, and until now, I have not waited for the weekend in the manner that I am waiting now. It isnt excitement or anticipation. Its every bone creaking desperately for 3 days of complete inactivity. I want nothing. No effort, no exertion mental or physical. To just soak into my 4 square foot bathroom floor, imagine it flooded in warm soapy water encircling my curves, so I can tell myself its soothing me. This probably wont happen. And so its more likely that I will be happily flushing down soap scuds from the expensive body shop strawberry scrub and feel good about myself.

This weekend I want to slowly flush out the sickly lethargy that courses through my veins. And see if I can sleep it away, taking breaks to dig into something soulful. Despite not having rough workdays. I have had time. But I need more. I need inactive time. Well timed inactivity. Just, nothing. No conversation, no catching up, no chershed moments, no new memories, no old ones.

Just. Nothing.