A core of conversations we never had/lie in the distance between your wants and mine/
.../and in case you have ever tried to reach me/and I could not hear you/these words are in place/of the dead air/still between us -Audre Lorde
"For we have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition, and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us." Audre Lorde
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Idiot thoughts
I can't read. Even if I want to and try to I can't. All my friends are well read intellectual farts and they make me feel small. I heard once that there is a man called Dostoyevsky (thankyou google spell check!) and he wrote a book called The Idiot.
I haven't read it, of course, and so I ask anyone who has read it and happens to like it to excuse themselves from the drivel that follows this sentence. Anyone with a name as serious sounding as Mr. D mentioned in the previous paragraph, must have vast knowledge about idiots and their ways. In fact, I'm quite sure it will be like reading about myself and so I must stop referring to idiots in third person.
But why did a man as important sounding as Mr. D write a book like this? Is it because he was quite sure that us idiots would never read his works anyway? Or that even if we tried we won't understand? I must say he is quite right in that, cos I don't understand most of the stuff people talk about. I use the tips one of my wise friends told me. Here is what she said.
So, as I was saying, I can't read. And because I can't read, I won't know what idiots are like. 'Tis a cruel cruel world. Whatever happened to that famous line - 'everyone is equal'? Or is it called a phrase? Well whatever the term is, I think I'm pretty sure I remember the words in that one right.
Sigh.. I've thought too much today. So much better to just vegetate.
I haven't read it, of course, and so I ask anyone who has read it and happens to like it to excuse themselves from the drivel that follows this sentence. Anyone with a name as serious sounding as Mr. D mentioned in the previous paragraph, must have vast knowledge about idiots and their ways. In fact, I'm quite sure it will be like reading about myself and so I must stop referring to idiots in third person.
But why did a man as important sounding as Mr. D write a book like this? Is it because he was quite sure that us idiots would never read his works anyway? Or that even if we tried we won't understand? I must say he is quite right in that, cos I don't understand most of the stuff people talk about. I use the tips one of my wise friends told me. Here is what she said.
So, as I was saying, I can't read. And because I can't read, I won't know what idiots are like. 'Tis a cruel cruel world. Whatever happened to that famous line - 'everyone is equal'? Or is it called a phrase? Well whatever the term is, I think I'm pretty sure I remember the words in that one right.
Sigh.. I've thought too much today. So much better to just vegetate.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Indigo air waves
Every morning I drive to work. I know how everyone LOVES to bitch about Bangalore traffic - people who can drive, people who can't drive, people who commute everyday, people who never go anywhere except in their garam masala stained nighties to the kirana shop next door... EVERYONE loves to crib about Bangalore traffic. Except me.
Well, not that I LIKE how crowded it is and how my dad's car now has pretty dents characterising it.. but I don't particularly hate it. Since I was 16 i dreamt of driving to work. And I am doing it now.. so I don't give a fig for what others have to say.
Right.. so I drive to work everyday. And the first thing I do is turn my radio on. And in a moment, there is bliss.. The song doesn't matter, the ads don't matter, the RJs don't matter... its Radio!! Queen sang about it. I remember how I waited until we had private radio channels. Cos now we could HEAR the music.. and to top it, there were people who LIKED talking talking to us now. So much fun!!
More than the radio we get to listen to here, its the concept of radio that one must like. Forget being tuned into the city's happenings, or the traffic updates or how every channel seems to want to throw obscene amounts of money at already well paid individuals.. its what radio IS that matters.
Think about it. Radio promises one a steady stream of the most popular music of the day totally free of cost and more importantly, totally free of effort. You don't have to choose your playlist. You don't have to choose your artist. You don't need to figure out where your mood is at to then choose the right artist to then choose the right song. And to add to it.. you don't run the risk of not having enough variety. The moment you turn the radio on, you automatically shift the responsibility to the station. As long as you are broadly in the right 'wavelength' ( in our city, each wavelength being characterised by the language of music it plays), you're all set. Let it play away...
Once you let someone else decide what it is you are listening to.. it doesn't jar. Cos you didn't choose it. Even the worst song you could be listening to at that moment is not that bad. And after one song ends, the next begins.. ON ITS OWN. Radio channels have the luxury of the shuffle button.. ACROSS different genres/ artists / pace of songs/ everything. And there you have it. Your very own mass manufactured playlist.. and of course its MUSIC.. how wrong can anyone go???
I don't know about those who call themselves music buffs and have a highly 'defined' (read, narrow) taste in music.. why don't you understand there is a time and place for each song. Its like a person. Except most songs have the ability to put ideas in your head.. with the added help of a melodious tune!! How many people can do that for you?
I simply adore radio. And especially radio in Bangalore. Where the RJs can actually mention artists and not have to mention the song name.. where the RJ can get away with playing covers of songs that do not need to be introduced.. where they literally let music soak into each and every bubble that travels along super crowded roads and makes life a little more pleasant. Radio brings out the shade where there are no trees.. and does so with a smile.
Radio is the brown in your coffee. And your excuse from thought. Thank god for small mercies!!
Well, not that I LIKE how crowded it is and how my dad's car now has pretty dents characterising it.. but I don't particularly hate it. Since I was 16 i dreamt of driving to work. And I am doing it now.. so I don't give a fig for what others have to say.
Right.. so I drive to work everyday. And the first thing I do is turn my radio on. And in a moment, there is bliss.. The song doesn't matter, the ads don't matter, the RJs don't matter... its Radio!! Queen sang about it. I remember how I waited until we had private radio channels. Cos now we could HEAR the music.. and to top it, there were people who LIKED talking talking to us now.
More than the radio we get to listen to here, its the concept of radio that one must like. Forget being tuned into the city's happenings, or the traffic updates or how every channel seems to want to throw obscene amounts of money at already well paid individuals.. its what radio IS that matters.
Think about it. Radio promises one a steady stream of the most popular music of the day totally free of cost and more importantly, totally free of effort. You don't have to choose your playlist. You don't have to choose your artist. You don't need to figure out where your mood is at to then choose the right artist to then choose the right song. And to add to it.. you don't run the risk of not having enough variety. The moment you turn the radio on, you automatically shift the responsibility to the station. As long as you are broadly in the right 'wavelength' (
Once you let someone else decide what it is you are listening to.. it doesn't jar. Cos you didn't choose it. Even the worst song you could be listening to at that moment is not that bad. And after one song ends, the next begins.. ON ITS OWN. Radio channels have the luxury of the shuffle button.. ACROSS different genres/ artists / pace of songs/ everything. And there you have it. Your very own mass manufactured playlist.. and of course its MUSIC.. how wrong can anyone go???
I don't know about those who call themselves music buffs and have a highly 'defined' (read, narrow) taste in music.. why don't you understand there is a time and place for each song. Its like a person. Except most songs have the ability to put ideas in your head.. with the added help of a melodious tune!! How many people can do that for you?
I simply adore radio. And especially radio in Bangalore. Where the RJs can actually mention artists and not have to mention the song name.. where the RJ can get away with playing covers of songs that do not need to be introduced.. where they literally let music soak into each and every bubble that travels along super crowded roads and makes life a little more pleasant. Radio brings out the shade where there are no trees.. and does so with a smile.
Radio is the brown in your coffee. And your excuse from thought. Thank god for small mercies!!
It was something that always happened to others - Murphy was working overtime to screw them over. Off late, it seems to be happening to me. Usually I don't care about anything enough to actually plot and scheme until it happened. OK, that's a lie.. but still.. Murphy was not supposed to notice me.. I am queen of the inconspicuous!!
Yet, he found me. And is systematically proceeding to ruin my life.
Other than Murphy, nothing has happened to me the last 3 months. I did have a few amazing weekends, actually (like genuine joy type weekends, OK??). Which I obviously won't be talking about here.
Even if you don't want to know why, I will tell you.. cos I am in a terribly chatty mood today.. plus my evening plans didn't work out. So... I was saying... that... I will tell you why I won't be telling you about my amazing weekends, etc:
Yet, he found me. And is systematically proceeding to ruin my life.
Other than Murphy, nothing has happened to me the last 3 months. I did have a few amazing weekends, actually (like genuine joy type weekends, OK??). Which I obviously won't be talking about here.
Even if you don't want to know why, I will tell you.. cos I am in a terribly chatty mood today.. plus my evening plans didn't work out. So... I was saying... that... I will tell you why I won't be telling you about my amazing weekends, etc:
- Just...
- No one deserves to know (teeheehee)
- This blog was not about anything sunny - hell, if there was something sunny to happen to me why would i share it??
- I have been told I'm best when I'm whining.. so i intend to stick to my USP
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
the one day flu
One of the worst things that can happen to you in the middle of the week is the one day flu. Have you ever had one of those? You wake up in the morning and everything feels wrong. Your eyes hurt, your throat hurts, there is someone banging something on your head ever so lightly that you cant pin point one reason but if you turn your head too fast it stings.
And once you discover this, your day just goes downwards from there. The one thing I cannot stand is throat pain. I can handle heat strokes, menstrual pain, fever, cough and cold, but throat pain is the worst thing to happen to anyone. Comes first on my list of things i cannot stand, followed by pop philosophy and synthetic pink.
I spent my entire day nursing the one day flu. And because its the first day, no one thinks its grave enough to shower you with attention, but it also means that you are absolutely tired and useless to yourself even. No sympathy and nothing you can do to cheer yourself up. You are at the mercy of the idiot box.. and really, how many channels can one change through the course of the day?
So.. yea, I spent an entire day feeling horrible and doing nothing. I know calvin says its the best way to spend a day. Whats wrong with me?
And once you discover this, your day just goes downwards from there. The one thing I cannot stand is throat pain. I can handle heat strokes, menstrual pain, fever, cough and cold, but throat pain is the worst thing to happen to anyone. Comes first on my list of things i cannot stand, followed by pop philosophy and synthetic pink.
I spent my entire day nursing the one day flu. And because its the first day, no one thinks its grave enough to shower you with attention, but it also means that you are absolutely tired and useless to yourself even. No sympathy and nothing you can do to cheer yourself up. You are at the mercy of the idiot box.. and really, how many channels can one change through the course of the day?
So.. yea, I spent an entire day feeling horrible and doing nothing. I know calvin says its the best way to spend a day. Whats wrong with me?
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The time is 11.12 as I start writing this piece. My mind is drenched in cobalt and sepia - wonder what mood can be ascribed to this combination.
On TV is one of those dark american movies that Hollywood loves to make. Proves to you that the world isnt pretty. You're all snuggled up in bed, cosy enough to forgive the day its faults and disappointments, and here comes along a movie that reminds you that the world is not such a pretty place afterall.
How many of us follow an entire Hollywood movie like it is a thriller or detective or autobiographical or drama novel? Doesn't it reduce to a bunch of images put together under some rationale, for us to witness and take away whatever from? Maybe some of them will remain in our scattered memories.. only to resurface later.. much later. At a disconnected point of time long into the future. Which is why almost every emotion feels like deja vu? Cos you've already been through it in proxy.
How much of what we feel is really ours? Or is that as real as it gets?
On TV is one of those dark american movies that Hollywood loves to make. Proves to you that the world isnt pretty. You're all snuggled up in bed, cosy enough to forgive the day its faults and disappointments, and here comes along a movie that reminds you that the world is not such a pretty place afterall.
How many of us follow an entire Hollywood movie like it is a thriller or detective or autobiographical or drama novel? Doesn't it reduce to a bunch of images put together under some rationale, for us to witness and take away whatever from? Maybe some of them will remain in our scattered memories.. only to resurface later.. much later. At a disconnected point of time long into the future. Which is why almost every emotion feels like deja vu? Cos you've already been through it in proxy.
How much of what we feel is really ours? Or is that as real as it gets?
Saturday, March 1, 2008
mehendi and boxer shorts
4th Week of February -
Galvanise - Chemical Brothers
Hai Hai (Punjabi Hit Squad)
Suicide Blonde
Kanye West Feat T-Pain
Hare Krishna Hare Ram
Zinda Hoon Main
Du Hast - Rammstein
Missy Elliot - Pass that Dutch
Funk Soul Brother - Fatboy Slim
Get Ur Freak On - Missy
Right Here Right Now - Fatboy
Tubthumping - Chumbawamba
Living Darfour - Mattafix
Big City Life - Mattafix
Rapture Dhol
Littlest Things - Lilly Allen
Smile - Lilly Allen
Chasing Pavements - Adele
Galvanise - Chemical Brothers
Hai Hai (Punjabi Hit Squad)
Suicide Blonde
Kanye West Feat T-Pain
Hare Krishna Hare Ram
Zinda Hoon Main
Du Hast - Rammstein
Missy Elliot - Pass that Dutch
Funk Soul Brother - Fatboy Slim
Get Ur Freak On - Missy
Right Here Right Now - Fatboy
Tubthumping - Chumbawamba
Living Darfour - Mattafix
Big City Life - Mattafix
Rapture Dhol
Littlest Things - Lilly Allen
Smile - Lilly Allen
Chasing Pavements - Adele
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